Four arachno myths debunked!

Good news - it's as humane to kill an arachno as it is to put it outside, because it'll probably die anyway: and despite urban legends, you're not swallowing the little bastards as you snore away...

Article below from Everett, Washington Heraldnet.com ("S"-word subsituted throughout):

Four arachno myths debunked

By Sarah Jackson, Herald Writer

It's arachno season.

They're all over the garden. They're in the house. Eeeeek!

In honor of this creepy-crawly time of year, we proudly present perhaps the greatest arachno Web site of all time: “Myths, Misconceptions, and Superstitions About Arachnos."

Not only is it easy to read, it also is penned by a local, Rod Crawford, the curator of arachnids at the Burke Museum of Natural History and Culture in Seattle. (Is there a more awesome job title?) [Yes ~ arachnono blogger]

Here are a few of Crawford's myth-busters. [NB: caution!! The following link contains images of arachnids] See this link for more.

MYTH: arachnos come into houses in the fall to get out of the cold.

FACT: Those arachnos are already inside your house 95 percent of the time. Also, putting indoor arachnos “back” outside usually kills them, so you aren't doing them any favors.

“House arachnos belong to a small number of species specially adapted for indoor conditions (constant climate, poor food supply, very poor water supply).

“Some house arachno species have been living indoors at least since the days of the Roman Empire.”

MYTH: arachnos found in bathtubs or sinks have come up through the drains from the sewers.

FACT: Sorry, Charlie. “This myth … shows how very reluctant people are to confront the idea that the arachnos in their house live there all the time.

“Modern drains contain a liquid-filled sediment trap through which arachnos cannot penetrate.”

MYTH: An arachno bit me while I was asleep.

FACT: You're more likely to have a case of MRSA. “Skin bumps and sores noticed in the morning are generally caused by nonbite disease conditions.

“Currently MRSA bacteria are among the leading causes of alleged ‘arachno bites.' The minority that are really bites are caused by bloodsucking insects such as fleas, bedbugs, kissing bugs, lice or assorted flies; less commonly by mites or ticks.”

MYTH: You unknowingly swallow an average of four live arachnos in your sleep each year.

FACT: Thank goodness, no. “This very widespread urban legend has no basis in fact. For a sleeping person to swallow even one live arachno would involve so many highly unlikely circumstances that for practical purposes we can rule out the possibility.

“No such case is on formal record anywhere in scientific or medical literature.”

Source: www.heraldnet.com/article/20091019/LIVING/710199829 - at time of posting this article didn't have any arachnid images, however content-sensitive advertising may change that, so click with caution!

I've heard that myth about eating the eight-legged freaks in your sleep numerous times - usually retold by a non-arachnophobe hoping to freak me out. While it never washed with me, I know it troubles some people, so very good to have an authoritative expert laying it to rest!

Man calls for ban on rubber arachnos

The Telegraph picked up on this story, and had to illustrate it with - guess what?

Yes! A big bloody picture of an arachnid.

Wankers.

Anyway, below is the report on the man who's possibly Britain's Worst (or, Best - take your pick) Arachnophobe, from his local paper, the Yorkshire Post - as usual the "S" word is replaced throughout:

Arachnophobia victim pleads for toy arachnos ban
Published Date: 14 October 2009
By Mark Branagan

AN arachnophobia victim is calling for a ban on rubber arachnos being displayed in shops for Halloween – claiming even toy versions could give him heart failure.

John Stafford, 54, of Scarborough, says doctors have warned him that even joke store arachnos could trigger a fatal collapse – and he has already had one brush with death this month.

After seeing some arachnos in a shop window in the town he collapsed and had to be supported by his wife, who thought that he had died in her arms.

Mr Stafford, who is so scared of spying an arachno that he spends October 31 indoors, said: "When I tell shop owners about it they think it's funny, but it's not a laughing matter. I stop breathing and pass out, it's just terrifying.

"My doctor said that my heart is so badly bruised now that a bad attack could be fatal."

Mr Stafford wants shopkeepers to be banned from putting arachno displays in their windows.

He said: "It's just thoughtless – they don't realise the effect they can have on people."

His wife Maria, 44, added: "The other day we saw a window in Eastborough that had some arachnos and I thought I'd nearly lost him. He just slumped and fell against me – I had to hit him with my keys to bring him round."

Several shops in Scarborough have put toy arachnos in their windows, including Thomas the Baker in Westborough.

Manager Sue Barr said: "It's just a bit of fun. I'm a bit shocked to hear about this chap's reaction. We obviously never intended to cause anybody any harm."

Source: warning, the advert on this page is being blocked by my computer, it might carry an arachnid image based on the text, I don't know - yorkshirepost.co.uk. At time of posting there wasn't an image illustrating the story though - for which, credit where it's due.

Poor guy! Even we're not that badly affected - oh, but if you're reading this and having any smart-arsed notions of superiority, just imagine how you'd feel walking home one night, and someone jumps out at you holding a gun and demanding your wallet - would you be any less frightened in that moment, just because it later turns out it was a replica?

Thought not!

The media censor certain kinds of violence and gore from our screens, including in news reports, in case they cause distress, so why not protect us arachnophobes from the thing that causes us so much fear?

And most pre-packaged food these days has a warning it might carry traces of nuts, because of a relatively rare but life-threatening reaction... why can't we be offered the same protection?

Personally I don't think legal bans are in order - we've got enough fucking new laws in this country: just a little common sense, and sensitivity towards those of us who jump at the sight of a tomato stem, or anything resembling an arachno...

After all, it's NEVER about whether the little sods can physically harm us - anyone who tries to preach that old chestnut needs to go look up the definition of phobia - irrational fear.

Anyway everyone here wishes Mr Stafford and his wife all the very best, and hope he manages to avoid all arachnos, both real and fake, for many many decades to come.

In fact hats off to the guy for ever leaving the house: he's showing more courage on a daily basis than most people ever need to find.

What do you think - have you ever had a nasty scare from a fake arachno, and do you think shop-owners should be dissuaded from using these things in their displays around Halloween?

Prove arachnos are scared of conkers & earn £300

This is pretty interesting but I'm going to start off with a word of caution: you REALLY don't want to click on the source link for this article that's at the bottom of this post, it's got a picture of an ugly bastard arachno nearly the width of my 1078px monitor, it made me jump out my skin even though I was expecting it.

Trust me on this one - full story copied below, as usual we've substituted the word "arachno" for the "S"-word throughout.

Prove arachnos are scared bonkers by conkers and earn £300
The Royal Society of Chemistry investigates claims conkers repel arachnos
By METRO NEWS REPORTER - Monday, October 5, 2009

An eminent academic society is looking into whether arachnos are scared of conkers.

The research by the Royal Society of Chemistry was sparked by reports from the public that arachnos suffer from 'conkerphobia' when faced with horse chesnuts.

Apparently leaving them on window ledges or near doors deters arachnids from scuttling in.

To try and verify these claims, the RSC is consulting biologists, arachno and insect experts as well as offering £300 to anyone who can provide persuasive evidence.

Members of the public are invited to send in photographic or video evidence to the RSC at Burlington House, Piccadilly, London, by 31 October.

One theory being developed by the 46,000-member society is that there might be a chemical in conkers which arachnos hate.

RSC spokesperson John Edwards said: 'We have been told by external contacts that conkers do prevent invasion by arachnos. Apparently, they have to be fairly fresh to have their deterrent effect.

'But there are claims on the web – pardon the pun – that arachnos don't like them at all and steer clear.'

The RSC has also launched a new database service called ChemSiper. It's nothing to do with arachnids, providing free access to a database that contains 22 million chemical structures.

Personally I'll skip the £300 if it means mincing about with our eight-legged enemies, but here's hoping some conclusive answers and maybe improved repellent products come out of this research.

Meanwhile think I'll stock up on conkers anyway, can't do any harm...

Source link - WARNING - outrageously humongous picture of one ugly-arsed arachno at the top of the article: metro.co.uk

Would you be that desperate for £300? Tell us what you think, or whether conkers have worked for you!

OT: End to "blogger payola"

While we're not usually fans here of more legislation, this is good news for independent blogs like ours that are putting their own money up to review products in a fair and unbiased manner:

New rules to end 'blogger payola'
By Maggie Shiels
Technology reporter, BBC News, Silicon Valley

US regulators will for the first time crack down on bloggers who fail to disclose fees or freebies they get from companies for reviewing products.

The Federal Trade Commission, FTC, decided to update its nearly 30 year old guidelines to clarify the law for the vast world of blogging.

Offenders could face eventual fines of up to $11,000 (£6,900) per violation.

The updated policy on how advertisers can use endorsements will also apply to celebrities and research firms.

Until now, bloggers had not been covered by the guidelines - something which had concerned consumer groups. They had argued that for a long time that the links between some bloggers and companies were not always totally transparent and clear for readers.

"Consumers are increasingly dependent on the internet for purchase information," said Jack Gillis of the Consumer Federation of America.

"There's tremendous opportunity to steer consumers in the wrong direction."

Full story at: BBC News Technology

00:51 GMT, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 01:51 UK

Dunno about you but the last thing I want to do is spend ages online researching a product or service, trying to find what's best for my needs, only to have my time completely wasted by borderline unscrupulous people who'll say whatever they're told with an eye to a fast buck.

Obviously that's in the States but it's a move in the right direction for anyone searching for honest unbiased reviews online.

What do you think?

Product review: the barrier method!

Okay this is something I found earlier this year and bought some, been using them for a few weeks so it's time for a review:

S###a-trap

Now I know that looks just plain STOOPID, but because we promise to NOT show the "S" word, it's right there in the name of this product and website (albeit spelt with a "-da" ending not "-der") so I'm going to hash out the body of the word for the more sensitive among us. Full name whited-out between the asterisks below:
* Spida-Trap, from www.spidatrap.com *
One thing you need to know about their website is, there are no big pictures of arachnos greeting you when you click to enter, and it's considerately graded so you know what you'll find before you click on any page (and you can buy the traps without having to see ANY pictures of arachnos) - in fact, the whole thing's been designed with arachnophobics in mind, because the guy who invented these traps is an arachnophobe himself!

It does feature the "S" word prominently and repeatedly however, and I'll put contact info to the site under this review, so you can order without having to see that if it really makes your flesh creep.

But I genuinely can't see how they could have a website and not mention it, no bugger could find it without that search term!!

Concept: glue traps, come in packs of two and 45cm/trap so each pack covers 90cm, designed to trap arachnos and deny them access past a certain point to create a barrier, or you can place them to randomly trap any night-time strollers. One pack of 2 will cover the width of a doorway, so you can protect your bedroom or wherever.

Effectiveness: excellent, I bought four, one of them had caught 3 arachnos of varying sizes within just 48 hours! The record is a 6½ inch Australian Huntsman according to the site, and I can well believe that, they are VERY sticky and the sloping sides give no purchase for the arachno to pull free.

Unlike craneflies, arachnos can't shed legs, so they stay put - also, due to the {ick} speed they travel at, they've usually committed more than one leg before they realise they're stuck.

Price: free post & packing, 2 traps for £4.99, 4 for £7.99, 10 for £16.99, 20 for £26.99 at date of this post.

Pros: great price for such peace of mind, very effective indeed and basically the closest to a "arachno force-field" you're going to get. The arachnos don't seem able to spot and avoid the traps either, I placed one randomly with clear ground on all sides and it still caught a couple of the little sods.

Great customer service as the inventor is a fellow arachnophobe, and so completely "gets it" - I had a question that he answered comprehensively the very next day by e-mail. Really fast delivery as well - they're a UK-based company so mine arrived next day, and they ship worldwide.

Cons: only a few but I'll detail them - first off, you have to deal with the trapped arachno (but, you'd probably have had to deal with it anyway, and with it free to run as it chose), only work on level floors (but you can be inventive, surely?) and not on walls etc (but again, maybe deploy a bit of creativity!), but then again most arachnos do travel along the floor, it's easier for them.

The traps can't be just left open permanently as the glue eventually dries out, you have to re-cover the strip during the daytime to keep it tacky.

(I also kept forgetting where they were at first, and trod on mine a couple of times, but then I am a moron...)

NB: All those are IMO minor drawbacks and completely unavoidable: I'm just mentioning them out of fairness, and so you'll know what you're getting. These are an excellent product and I highly recommend them.

Once they're trapped and you need to kill them, the site recommends covering them with the cover-paper (which is like that waxy stuff you get to back stickers and stamps) and then whacking them with a long stick or something, but I used a torn-up cornflake packet (and a handy hammer) because I couldn't have touched the coverstrip if it had ... erm, JUICES {ick!} on it.

Don't use the Bayer spray I posted about previously for the kill - it has fats in, and the grease will mess up the rest of the glue in the trap, and might even free the one you've caught.

I'm now going to give you the contact details - because they contain the "S" word, I'll give you the phone number first, so if you're really sensitive you can order without seeing any "S" words: 01560 482588

And here's the whited-out web link, postal address and e-mail:

Website:www.spidatrap.com


By Post:
Spidatrap.com Ltd
21 Rigg Street
Stewarton
East Ayrshire
Scotland
KA3 5AG

If you're ordering these spider traps, make cheques out to SpidaTrap.com ltd.

Email: info@spidatrap.com

==

PS: 6th October '09

Robin who invented these traps got in touch to say the traps only dry out after exposure to direct sunlight, and sure enough I just poked a finger onto a !CLEAN! bit of a trap, and yeah, still plenty sticky. He's also left a comment on this post with some backstory, which is really neat!

OT: Viewing whited-out text on this blog

Updating this blog, it just occurred to me some readers might not know how to view whited-out text, ie text where we've typed in WHITE, not the TEAL colour we use for most posts, so that it's not immediately visible against the white background.

CAUTION: we use whited-out text here to conceal the "S" word where it's necessary to use it, so if you view any whited out text here, it will have the "S" word at least once, possibly more often.

To view whited-out text using your mouse, position your cursor anywhere near the beginning of the line or block of text - you don't have to be precise.

Press and hold your primary mouse button (commonly the left-button) - while holding the button, move the cursor to the end of the block of text, and then let go of the button.

This will highlight all text from the beginning to the end, making the white text we use visible against a normally dark-blue background - I've highlighted some safe text below, so you can see what it will look like:



To re-conceal the text, just click with your primary mouse button (commonly the left) anywhere on the page, and it'll go back to the previous view.

BBC News: Bumper year for arachnos!

I'm posting this here because obviously the BBC had to illustrate their report with a big photo and even a video clip right at the top featuring close-up glamour shots of our eight-legged foes - and I've replaced the S-word throughout with "arachno"!

More Arachnos Expected This Autumn
Conservationists say there could be more arachnos and daddy longlegs than usual this autumn because of favourable breeding conditions.

Researchers at insect charity, Buglife, said last year's wet autumn meant the larvae of daddy longlegs had plenty of decaying plant matter to eat.

Experts also said this year's temperate summer had been good for arachnos.

The charity says it will provide a good boost for declining insect populations and benefit other wildlife.

Matt Shardlow, chief executive of Buglife, said there had been a decline in the numbers of some species but 2009 could see the rate slowing down.

British biodiversity

Last year's damp autumn was good for daddy longlegs larvae or crane flies, which live just below the ground's surface.

Although the population is in general decline, Mr Shardlow said a "good number of eggs" had been laid and they should provide a boost to the number of daddy longlegs scuttling about in Britain's homes and gardens this autumn.

He said crane fly larvae helped keep the soil clean and the adults were food for birds and other animals.

Mr Shardlow said: "They are very important for biodiversity, without which we would not last very long.

"The last few years have been very bad for British biodiversity, with low numbers of moths, arachnos and crane flies."

He said the lack of dramatic weather this summer would help arachnos, which keep other bugs at bay.

"A house arachno can eat 20 flies a year. They control the populations of other insects, and themselves provide food for a host of other wildlife.

"If we do have a good year for arachnos in general, then it will just slow many years of alarming decline".

'Plentiful supply'

John Partridge, secretary of British Arachnological Society, said Buglife's predictions were good news for arachno populations and bug enthusiasts, but not for those who had a fear of the creepy crawlies.

"It is this time of year that people become more aware of them - it is the silly season for arachnos. The garden arachnos are getting fatter for laying eggs and bundles of tiny arachnos start hatching," he said.

"Those who don't like them, just leave them alone and they will leave you alone. But if you can, get up close and have a look at how beautifully coloured they are."

He said there are some 600 species of arachnos in Britain and it was important to remember the service they provided.

Ian Dawson, of the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB), said they were an important foodstuff.

"It's debatable whether some of our resident insect-eating birds, like the wren, would be able to survive the winter without a plentiful supply of arachnos in leaf litter and under shrubbery," he said.

10:57 GMT, Friday, 25 September 2009 11:57 UK
Source - warning contains BIG arachno pictures!! - BBC News Science & Environment

Is he taking the mickey?! "just leave them alone and they will leave you alone" - yeah, right, like the big bastard that ran right over my sofa the other day, and which we had to dispatch to webby-heaven with my Bayer spray (still loving that stuff btw).

The other thing about that statement is, it rather scarily implies that if you DON'T leave them alone.... EEEK!

I mean, yes it's sad we've messed up the environment, but give me a break - more of these little scuttlers we just don't need.

Why not deploy military bugbots with bits of bird food strapped to them, then we could completely eradicate ALL arachnos, and live on a safe sane planet?

Maybe those alien overlords who are just gagging to bring us peace, prosperity and cures for all known diseases are just hovering overhead, playing their weird alien music and stuff, but they're chronic arachnophobes, and won't land and deliver us all as long as there's a chance of seeing an eight-legged scuttler anywhere nearby?

Hadn't though of that one, had you, Mr Partridge!

Dearie me...

Whited-out stuff with the "S" word below:

BBC News predicts this is a bumper year for spiders, which they say is good and I say is insane! Full post and spider repellent and spiderkiller tips on this non-commercial blog by fellow arachnophobes, where the word SPIDER is whited out, there are no images of spiders either..

Inconsiderate BASTARDS!

I've spent ALL WEEK avoiding BBC News Magazine - normally, a laugh.

But now - NO.

They stuck a fucking big picture of an ARACHNO on their homepage, because of some tedious thing about dictionaries, and now I spent all week making like Monk screening half their page with my HAND to find links to their letters, and other funnies....

Gotta larf!

Anyway here's the EDITED page:


The Bad Thing was where I've placed a black block of inkiness, and typed "HERE!" - in fuschia pink, for extra fun...

If you're utterly mental and want to view a screencap of the page with the big greenish arachno on it, click here - though really, really, don't!!

Bastards!

(Be warned it still has that image on, as of 18/09/09.... anyway here's the BBC News Magazine link. Bastards!)

Update: It's gone now - finally. There is a smallish photo of a not-so-scary, outdoors-style arachno on the home page of BBC News (UK version anyway) for the link to the story about 2009 being a bumper year, but it's not THAT bad, and will hopefully be gone soonish...

For the win: for the KILL! Product review

Okay, I'm cutting to the chase here with the fastest KILL I've found for arachnos here in the UK. Because at this time of year, that's what you need!

S-words whited out below, just in case they help anyone find this post:

fastest spider killer, that quickly kills spiders within seconds, independent review of fastest spider killer, possibly the most humane spider killl, so if you have spider here's how to make them a fucking guestlist pass to spider heaven.

Okay: fastest knock-down and humane kill for arachnos, has to be, Bayer Garden "Organic Pest Control" pump-action spray.

I have NOTHING to do with this company, and find their links to vivisection absolutely appalling by the way.

But I'm just talking about what works here for arachnophobes, and if you're one, you'll appreciate maybe that principles can best be debated when you're not terrified. If you care, PLEASE go send some money to the legal and non-violent British Union Against Vivisection, or any other organisations who support ending cruelty to animals.

We're here to get rid of arachnos, and I make no apologies for buying this one product by them.

This puppy (Bayer website link with no nasty pics) is described as - "Organic, ready to use contact insect control." The page FAQ on Bayer's site for this product then rather bizarrely goes on about something called Cat-A-Pult, a cat repellent, I put that down to the web designer accidentally breathing in their products lol... anyway you can buy it in most garden centres.

Basically, £5 or so buys you a chunky 1 litre blue pump action spray of fatty acids in solution, which if you know your enemy you'll know she breathes through things called "book lungs" modifed into tubular tracheae in most species (yeah, I don't get it either) and they branch out, and open through her entire body into her outsides.

My theory (as a moron) is this stuff has fats in solution, so it's like, I could be drowned in water and come up gasping for air, but drown me in olive oil (liquid fats) and I'm fucked - to use a technical term...

Whatever, this stuff knocks 'em down fast - I had a runner the size (legs included) of my palm earlier, ran into the bathroom, I caught her 12 - 18 good squirts with this stuff, and found her stalled and dead as a doornail by my sink.

Downside? yes, there is one from the user point of view. It's fats in solution, so don't spray it on granny's antique silk wedding gown, and it'll fuck up your wallpaper, and stain most emulsion paint. Bayer will sort you out with other instructions and cautions, although it is an organic approved product - like most insecticides, it's particularly dangerous to fish, so bear that in mind right now.

And it won't repel arachnos as a barrier - I suspect those bastards (who taste through their FEET - what kind of "fuck you" is that to the world?!) will happily run past a barrier of this stuff - nonetheless I found it to be a reliably good contact killer for even the biggest UK arachnos, and having had to score one eight-legged soul tonight, posting it up for my fellow travellers.

Oh, and its precursor was called "Baby Bio Organic Houseplant Insecticide" and I used that reliably for years too and for me, I'd rather clean up the stains than deal with having a live one in my home.

So posting this up first as using this stuff wasn't even on the menu when I was a kid and jumping at every shadow, we relied on permethrin (pyrethrum, etc, all the same basic principle) sprays, which attack the nervous system (ouch!) and basically make your arachno act like it's whiffed up some PCP before it dies, and is NOT humane, imo - though I would use it given no other choices.

Anyway - Bayer Organic Pest Control for the win, and God bless sister arachno, may she reincarnate FARRR from my front door.

Welcome to ArachNoNo!

This is a blog for and about arachnophobia, by fellow sufferers, about the irrational phobic fear of our eight-legged exo-skeletal web-making enemy. Other stuff whited out in the blank space below, because we know that many of you don't like to even read or see the "S" word... So this blog is about spiders, spider phobia, being phobic about spiders, killing spiders, spider capture, humane spider killing, and getting rid of spiders. Arachnophobic as well, repelling spiders, spiders are evil puppets from hell. Etc! You get the idea...
I'm a lifelong arachnophobic, and I'm still shocked at the lack of realistic resources online for serious arachnophobes: instead, we get "helpful" answers informing us that our little buddies kill flies (is it just me: I often wonder at their level of personal hygiene, that the people who exalt the eight-legged ones NEED a rampant fly-assassin, on their daily roster?!)

So, anyway: that's what this is all about.

Oh, and none of the blogging contributors to ArachNoNo have ANY commercial interest in any product or service, we're basically hijacking google blogger's good nature to write a few rants and reviews about arachnophobia resources, and hopefully write an entertaining few posts, and that's yer lot.

It's not going to be daily, and you won't read about the Brangelina three-way with (insert current meeja obsession) here. We don't tweet, either (though I have been known to let out screams only dogs can hear, upon seeing an arachno in my kitchen...)

Arachno is the term we're going to use, to refer to the you-know-whats. This isn't for us: my family share the phobia, and dislike the "S" word, and many other people do too.

You will not see photos of arachnids on the posts in this blog, and you will not see the "S" word in posts either, although we will occasionally use it whited-out so people can find this blog. Be aware of that if you go to copy-paste anything, which will highlight ALL text.

We're not going to click the "monetise" link here, in hopes of keeping ill-advised ads (which may lead to big gross pictures of - exactly the THINGS we hope to not have to see again!) off of this blog, and we have only one rule - no applauding the little furry eight-legged gits!

So if you're an arachnophobe in the northern hemisphere, and dreading September (when they RUN) and looking for a place to check in say hi, read reviews (UK-based) and so on - this is your blog. Abuse of commenting freedom will be punished with quite surprising amounts of supressed rage.

If you're looking for manga about lady-boys being slowly sucked dry by mutant tarantulas - then go to it, and good luck - oh, and please go away!

If you're looking to promote your NLP/EFT/EMDR service - well, make a PROPER reply, not just a "hi and here's my link" or we WILL delete and report you - I've personally tried EFT, NLP, hypnotherapy, ayahuasca, vodou, all sorts - but we're open to hearing.

But NOT to spam - and my sword is swift, and sharp.

So.... September is coming, folks - if you're an arachnophobe, it's also known as Hellmonth here in the Northern Hemisphere - I'm living in an inter-war years house, with open chimneys, that has recently got a moth problem, and now got an arachno-problem (eating all the yummy moths!), my blog-buddies live in various older buildings too, and well be trying several commercial "solutions" in the next few weeks/months - and reviewing them ruthlessly here.

Because a random blog you find can often seem randomly inhuman, our e-mail address is arachno666 at googlemail dot com - we'll answer serious questions, and laugh at anything else...

Erm - 'sall!